Poems by OP_CHAN
by OP_CHAN - July 11, 2019 at 08:26 AM
Year 2006 Myspace,Hot topic and Marilyn manson: -OP_Chan)

I remember like it was yesterday ..jr high..yahoo chat rooms..Sharpie black nails and child's play.

Bus number 8 would come pick me up every morning at 6am I would be tired as fuck as i have just pulled off another 11 hour online chat session on MySpace with my other 13 year old friends who one i found out was 30 and named David...but  like a chariot of death taking me to my destination of a prison cell of lost souls full of fags in American eagle and reeking of  life ..the system is rigged and cares not for the abused forced child labor ridden society in which I had 2 attend in hopes of at least making a C average grade to put on the fridge so I could keep my internet....life was cruel...life was cold...like getting in the shower as soon as you turn it on without testing first..it was this edgy hardcore lifestyle we all were forced to either overcome and remain miserable ...or shoot up a school and take your life...I remember waking up each day to thought in my head screaming "pull the trigger pussy" ...its always raining in my head ..the thoughts never clear..have u ever tasted the barrel of a gauge?..death biting grip on the cold mettalic barrel with the sweet smell of 2 month old burnt powder residue aroma filling your nose ...its this smell...this sweet short joy in life that made me continue amd bare life...just wlawaiting another morning stuck on repeat of putting the Remington 870 in my lips on my bed laying next 2 a used worn straight edge blade i just used 2 carve a pentagram on my forearm...i never got it right..was always crooked and missing a point ..but fuck it the high euphoria and taste of cold steel and ink in my mouth woth the blaring sound of the band THE USED took all that pain away...soon as the next song was over i found myself showering amd getting ready for the death ride 2 hell...the long yellow chariot roaring like a beast piercing early dark morning fog like the headless horseman on a mission like Forrest gump just trying to find myself a seat but all I hear is (seats taken,can't sit here,kill ur self faggot..)if only i had the strength to pull out dads .38 revolver and make them regret every word in a mere second..I fantasize the blood on the dirty brown let her seats that smelt always like sweaty mexicans during the Texas summer...I imagined the crackling gasping last breath of desperation and despair of the soul leaving the body becoming a lifeless vessel of sorrow and wasted sperm.. ..I spent most classes jamming to Marilyn Manson in my hot topic independent shirt and DC skatershoes I spray painted silver and writing letters /drawing pictures of ravens ,burned witches and the emo girl who sat in front of me named jessicaXX ...somedays her hoodie would rip up 2 far to expose her jack the skeleton thong...oh 2005 and 2006...where did u go..I often saw myself wishing it was me and jessica in that ATREYU music video Lip gloss and black...i would be the worthless slave tied 2 the chair while her putting out cigs on my skin...its that kind of joy i get out of this worthless miserable pathetic joke of birth  and death we call life...we will never have those times back...so for now I just continue the reincarnated cycle of the voices in my head screaming pull the trigger ..and me just being the coward inside holdong on to nothing....life is pain...the world is cold and dark...but i will have my day to fly with the ravens one day and shit on the graves of cyber bullies .
I am not reading this
But y :( dont do this to me i poured my heart out
(July 11, 2019 at 08:30 AM)Mimi Wrote: I am not reading this

yeah me too its too long :D
"yeah me too its too long :D" Well thats not the first time ive heard that .

And mimi . No one asked u 2 lol
How is David in this day and age?

Do you two still speak?
Nah i have not heard from him in 2 years unfortunately. :(
(July 11, 2019 at 06:26 PM)OP_CHAN Wrote: Nah i have not heard from him in 2 years unfortunately.  :(

Still two years ago, at least he was still in your life.
He must have been a dedicated friend.
Just so we r clear...which David?

(July 11, 2019 at 06:18 PM)OP_CHAN Wrote: "yeah me too its too long :D" Well thats not the first time ive heard that .

And mimi . No one asked u 2 lol

its better to be thick :D rather than long
Oh shit bro.. truu words wise one.
(July 11, 2019 at 08:30 AM)Mimi Wrote: I am not reading this

agreed, fuck that.

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