My Xanax Addiction
by Pedo - 07-07-2019, 07:46 AM
#1
Uh so, this is kinda difficult to write on how it effected me personally, mentally and emotionally.
I'll get straight into it without any bullshit story's on how this drug is brilliant, recreational wise its not.

How it started

So my Xanax addiction started around two years ago when I ordered them from the deep web
tested and everything was fine, legitimate stuff, first time I was a bar tard and drank whilst taking
them and it didn't end up well, I blacked out and woke up with no memory of anything, and I thought 
to myself "If thats what they do maybe they'll help with underlying problems" but they didn't.

I went from taking one day to taking at least 3 a day, whilst still doing other drugs, Valium, Codeine
and many more, It ruined me personally and probably the reason my partner fucked me over for someone
else, I depended so much on Xanax but in reality I didn't, I though I did.

I was ordering 50+ bars a week, as over here I can't get direct access to them, I replaced them 
for my anti-depressants, and it wasn't worth it, then I started sniffing Alprazolam powder, almost
every day, I was a mess, physically I felt like pure shit, emotionally I felt empty inside, like I had 
no cares, when in reality my world was falling apart, mentally I felt like I depended on the combination 
of drugs I was abusing daily.

Around a month and a half ago I tried to commit suicide due to underlying problems, and failed 
the attempt, I woke up after being unconscious, panicking, my partner knew what I had done and 
wasn't very supportive, she left me to my own devices, I left the house around 5am with about 20 bars 
of Xanax and after a walk and exploring my mind trying to find myself I disposed of the Xanax and haven't 
touched it since, after a two year addiction to Xanax I decided to come clean, and haven't touche it since.

I'm now out of my toxic relationship after being with my ex partner for five years, after we had moved 
in together, planned a future, children and all that bullshit It wasn't for me after what she did, and 
I realized I deserve a lot better in my life, after an on going addiction to drugs not only Xanax I'm
happy to say I'm clean and hope to stay this way and just embrace life for what it is.

Don't let Xanax ruin your life, because they will.
Please take every drug in moderation, benzos, stimulants, anything.

Stay safe.
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#2
yea you basically fucked your own brain lol.
Xanax is terrible unless its prescribed for an actual reason.
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#3
(07-10-2019, 11:12 AM)STARTEXMISLEAD Wrote: yea you basically fucked your own brain lol.
Xanax is terrible unless its prescribed for an actual reason.

Xanax really isn’t worth the hassle, it fucked me a lot more than some drugs I’ve used before.
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#4
hey man, thanks for sharing. that's crazy heavy and intense but it sounds like things have actually worked out for the best. sometimes it takes hitting the absolute bottom before making the actual necessary changes in your life. be well dude and take care of yourself.
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#5
(07-10-2019, 06:03 PM)tuckpendleton Wrote: hey man, thanks for sharing.  that's crazy heavy and intense but it sounds like things have actually worked out for the best.  sometimes it takes hitting the absolute bottom before making the actual necessary changes in your life.  be well dude and take care of yourself.

Yeah things are a lot better now, get sudden urges, but easily cut off.
I sometimes crave them bad, just for that high.
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#6
when i quit cigarettes (not the same thing, i know, but the withdrawals manifest similarly) i would have 10-15 minute bouts of intense cravings every couple of hours or so for the first several weeks. if i could re-focus my mind during that window it would pass. for a while it seemed impossible then i just started making up tasks for myself. positive steps for positive change.
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#7
(07-11-2019, 05:31 PM)tuckpendleton Wrote: when i quit cigarettes (not the same thing, i know, but the withdrawals manifest similarly) i would have 10-15 minute bouts of intense cravings every couple of hours or so for the first several weeks.  if i could re-focus my mind during that window it would pass.  for a while it seemed impossible then i just started making up tasks for myself.  positive steps for positive change.

I mean addiction is addiction.

I smoke cigarettes also, and I can't go hours without one.
The Xanax cravings are intense and are hard to kick sometimes.
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