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My Depression and My Life
#1
Hey RaidForums,

 It's McChicken. My life is falling apart and I'm thinking of ending it. I'm gonna give you a little lesson about my life without too many details. 

Years 0-4:

 When I was a little kid, I was always bullied (makes sense for a RF user) when I started school. Really fucked me up. When i was 4 I remember some random kids started punching me and kicking me for no reason that I know of. Of course I told my teacher because I was that kid, but it only made things worse. When I was walking to the teacher two kids also tripped me. I remember all this so vividly, sadly. 

Years 4-10:

This was the worst of my whole life. I was always bullied for being me. In 3rd grade I attempted to kill myself with a noose. I was luckily stopped but the thoughts never went away. I was always the weird one my whole life, the person no one wants to be friends with. I hated myself for what I was. Never had a friend to be able to talk with. As I grew up I had more bad experiences. In 5th grade we were doing a skit in my English class. The kids in my group made a circle and out idea was innocent. I didn't realize what she meant until I got older. "Just jump out like the retard you are." About this time school also became an issue. Always got bad grades, making life tough for my family. Failing almost all my classes. That's where most of my life problems are from. Not only was I failing, I made life hell for my mom.

Years 11-Now(16)

Now I just stay in my room and stay to myself, tired of trying to help myself. I always failed when I tried so I just gave up. My mom suffers from depression just like me and I'm only making it worse. Always thought that if I didn't exist I would make things better for her. My anger has got worse over the years. Always doing shit that I hate but yet do. Never understood why I even do it but even when I try to fix myself it doesn't work. So I give up. Last month I tried to kill myself. I'm just tired of everything in my life. I have a therapist but if I told her any thing I would have to go the mental hospital. She has to legally report it. I told my closest friends about what I've been thinking and they care. At least this year in my life I finally have friends. Im probably gonna fail this grade. Have 5 F's out of 8 classes. 

To be honest I still think about what would happen if I finally killed myself. I'm not going to. Well, most likely not going to do it. My depression and my life have been hell for me. So I'm just telling you guys it so I can get it off my mind. Hopefully people in the thread don't just say stupid shit. Well, I'm gonna end it here.


 -McChicken
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#2
I will Beat they ass If they try to do that shit to me

then kys lol Smile)))))))))))))))0
Reply
#3
(02-27-2018, 02:41 PM)McChicken Wrote:  Hey RaidForums,

 It's McChicken. My life is falling apart and I'm thinking of ending it. I'm gonna give you a little lesson about my life without too many details. 

Years 0-4:

 When I was a little kid, I was always bullied (makes sense for a RF user) when I started school. Really fucked me up. When i was 4 I remember some random kids started punching me and kicking me for no reason that I know of. Of course I told my teacher because I was that kid, but it only made things worse. When I was walking to the teacher two kids also tripped me. I remember all this so vividly, sadly. 

Years 4-10:

This was the worst of my whole life. I was always bullied for being me. In 3rd grade I attempted to kill myself with a noose. I was luckily stopped but the thoughts never went away. I was always the weird one my whole life, the person no one wants to be friends with. I hated myself for what I was. Never had a friend to be able to talk with. As I grew up I had more bad experiences. In 5th grade we were doing a skit in my English class. The kids in my group made a circle and out idea was innocent. I didn't realize what she meant until I got older. "Just jump out like the retard you are." About this time school also became an issue. Always got bad grades, making life tough for my family. Failing almost all my classes. That's where most of my life problems are from. Not only was I failing, I made life hell for my mom.

Years 11-Now(16)

Now I just stay in my room and stay to myself, tired of trying to help myself. I always failed when I tried so I just gave up. My mom suffers from depression just like me and I'm only making it worse. Always thought that if I didn't exist I would make things better for her. My anger has got worse over the years. Always doing shit that I hate but yet do. Never understood why I even do it but even when I try to fix myself it doesn't work. So I give up. Last month I tried to kill myself. I'm just tired of everything in my life. I have a therapist but if I told her any thing I would have to go the mental hospital. She has to legally report it. I told my closest friends about what I've been thinking and they care. At least this year in my life I finally have friends. Im probably gonna fail this grade. Have 5 F's out of 8 classes. 

To be honest I still think about what would happen if I finally killed myself. I'm not going to. Well, most likely not going to do it. My depression and my life have been hell for me. So I'm just telling you guys it so I can get it off my mind. Hopefully people in the thread don't just say stupid shit. Well, I'm gonna end it here.


 -McChicken

Hey friend.

Listen you are young and your problems seem to mainly be about your grades and the bullying as well as peoples opinions of you.

1. People opinions dont fucking matter you are what you want to be fuck them they are irreverent its YOUR life not theirs if they have a problem with it argue ..stand up for yourself and who you are why the fuck should you care and mate people like me will back you all the way with that one.

2. Grades are not a be all and end all they make it out to be such a big deal yet im in college starting from legit nothing i struggle also with learning difficulties (everyone has something wrong with them btw) if you really want to improve all you have to do is actually put time into studying what you need. Ask what will be on the exams get the resources you will need and remember it if you fail at least then you tried your hardest and if anyone goes on at you for what you get well you can simply say " I tried at the best of my ability and therefore the grades i have now are the grades i am MEANT to have." yet again the education system is flawed anyway and pretty much pointless to care about in this day and age you will end up ok man.

3. Bullying, It always happens for a reason. Difference is not a bad thing but for anyone to be a target they have to stand out right ? have you ever thought that standing out isn't a bad thing if your different it therefore MAKES you better and more interesting if conversations aren't just "omg did you see that girl on snap xd xd" retards. People bully for a reason even if they dont truly realize it more often than not its because they have some sort of doubt in themselves. We only look at ourselves in the mirror before we leave the house right? so realize they do exactly the same thing ALL humans are scared of not fitting in or being bullied well make this change. Do not care what people think fuck them. do not let people tell you what you can and cant evaluate them are realize how FUCKING RETARDED they are themselves and if need be do something about it. FUCK THEM I myself was bullied so fucking much trust me mate idc how long it takes their day will fucking come. Develop yourself fight for what you want do not kill yourself or there will NEVER be the day where you can look down on their pathetic little retarded minds. Ill stand with you all the way man.

I would like to add one more thing.. the fact that you posted this shows that you are asking for HELP not attention and may actually be considering suicide its not a solution there ARE people who care about you and now im fucking one of them ... so do it and you will be hurting me man you may not see it but its true.

(02-27-2018, 03:24 PM)STARTEXMISLEAD Wrote:  
(02-27-2018, 02:41 PM)McChicken Wrote:  Hey RaidForums,

 It's McChicken. My life is falling apart and I'm thinking of ending it. I'm gonna give you a little lesson about my life without too many details. 

Years 0-4:

 When I was a little kid, I was always bullied (makes sense for a RF user) when I started school. Really fucked me up. When i was 4 I remember some random kids started punching me and kicking me for no reason that I know of. Of course I told my teacher because I was that kid, but it only made things worse. When I was walking to the teacher two kids also tripped me. I remember all this so vividly, sadly. 

Years 4-10:

This was the worst of my whole life. I was always bullied for being me. In 3rd grade I attempted to kill myself with a noose. I was luckily stopped but the thoughts never went away. I was always the weird one my whole life, the person no one wants to be friends with. I hated myself for what I was. Never had a friend to be able to talk with. As I grew up I had more bad experiences. In 5th grade we were doing a skit in my English class. The kids in my group made a circle and out idea was innocent. I didn't realize what she meant until I got older. "Just jump out like the retard you are." About this time school also became an issue. Always got bad grades, making life tough for my family. Failing almost all my classes. That's where most of my life problems are from. Not only was I failing, I made life hell for my mom.

Years 11-Now(16)

Now I just stay in my room and stay to myself, tired of trying to help myself. I always failed when I tried so I just gave up. My mom suffers from depression just like me and I'm only making it worse. Always thought that if I didn't exist I would make things better for her. My anger has got worse over the years. Always doing shit that I hate but yet do. Never understood why I even do it but even when I try to fix myself it doesn't work. So I give up. Last month I tried to kill myself. I'm just tired of everything in my life. I have a therapist but if I told her any thing I would have to go the mental hospital. She has to legally report it. I told my closest friends about what I've been thinking and they care. At least this year in my life I finally have friends. Im probably gonna fail this grade. Have 5 F's out of 8 classes. 

To be honest I still think about what would happen if I finally killed myself. I'm not going to. Well, most likely not going to do it. My depression and my life have been hell for me. So I'm just telling you guys it so I can get it off my mind. Hopefully people in the thread don't just say stupid shit. Well, I'm gonna end it here.


 -McChicken

Hey friend.

Listen you are young and your problems seem to mainly be about your grades and the bullying as well as peoples opinions of you.

1. People opinions dont fucking matter you are what you want to be fuck them they are irreverent its YOUR life not theirs if they have a problem with it argue ..stand up for yourself and who you are why the fuck should you care and mate people like me will back you all the way with that one.

2. Grades are not a be all and end all they make it out to be such a big deal yet im in college starting from legit nothing i struggle also with learning difficulties (everyone has something wrong with them btw) if you really want to improve all you have to do is actually put time into studying what you need. Ask what will be on the exams get the resources you will need and remember it if you fail at least then you tried your hardest and if anyone goes on at you for what you get well you can simply say " I tried at the best of my ability and therefore the grades i have now are the grades i am MEANT to have." yet again the education system is flawed anyway and pretty much pointless to care about in this day and age you will end up ok man.

3. Bullying, It always happens for a reason. Difference is not a bad thing but for anyone to be a target they have to stand out right ? have you ever thought that standing out isn't a bad thing if your different it therefore MAKES you better and more interesting if conversations aren't just "omg did you see that girl on snap xd xd" retards. People bully for a reason even if they dont truly realize it more often than not its because they have some sort of doubt in themselves. We only look at ourselves in the mirror before we leave the house right? so realize they do exactly the same thing ALL humans are scared of not fitting in or being bullied well make this change. Do not care what people think fuck them. do not let people tell you what you can and cant evaluate them are realize how FUCKING RETARDED they are themselves and if need be do something about it. FUCK THEM I myself was bullied so fucking much trust me mate idc how long it takes their day will fucking come. Develop yourself fight for what you want do not kill yourself or there will NEVER be the day where you can look down on their pathetic little retarded minds. Ill stand with you all the way man.

I would like to add one more thing.. the fact that you posted this shows that you are asking for HELP not attention and may actually be considering suicide its not a solution there ARE people who care about you and now im fucking one of them ... so do it and you will be hurting me man you may not see it but its true.

Further more respect yourself and what you get ... if people attack you for what you are accept what you are and people cannot attack you for it. More often than not people are attacking you because they dont know themselves enough or think that they are failures so in order to feel better they have to attack people for their "failures" (although you cant actually define what a failure is none of us truly know)
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#4
I know how you feel because i too myself am not happy with my life right now, but do not worry, this is just a phase in our lives.
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#5
Hey Friend,
Reading through this, a lot of it links to my life tbh.

1. Peoples opinions don't fucking matter they can fuck themselves, the only opinion that matters is yours and if people make opinions you don't like stand-up for yourself argue with them stand for who you are. YOU ARE YOU, tell people that and tell them to focus on their own lives.

2. Grades shouldn't matter too much, just put all your heart into studying what you need for you classes. The more work you put in the happier you will be when you get your grades back because you know that you worked for what you got and if people say shit about you grades just say "I tried my hardest and now I have something to show for it, all my hard work went into this and I'm proud so fuck off." Ask teachers for help with your work that's what they are there for, get the things you need to pass your exams and also ask you mum for help with your school work.

3. Bullying is a big thing it happens to the best of us, speak to your teachers about it and get help with stopping it. However most of the time people get bullied because they are different and there's nothing wrong with being different it makes you unique. Once those people grow up they will realise what cunts they have been to you and you will be looking down at them telling them how pathetic they are.

Honestly dude just try your hardest and you will get what you disserve. Also respect yourself more man it will help you to stand up to those cunts, speak to your mum ask for help and find a group of friends you could surround yourself in because they could really help you with studying. If you really consider killing yourself just know you are going to be upsetting many people including me now and there are a lot of people here that could care about you, ik that this is a online community but most of us have been through stuff like this before and we can help you.

Please take care of yourself. Heart
Reply
#6
sorry to hear about last month mate! gotta keep positive vibes
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#7
My life's extremely similar. Before I dropped out, I failed a grade cause I missed too many days of school, the following year I was given the option to do the grade I failed as well as the one I was supposed to had I passed. You may want to talk to your councilor about something like that if you do happen to fail. As for now, I think you should pinpoint what you want in your life. Never forget what those things are. The less you look at suicide as an option, the more successful you'll be at getting where you want to be.
As for all of the assholes that bug you throughout your life, there's nothing you can really do but ignore it. Find solace in the fact that a majority of those people don't know you, and take into consideration criticisms you face from those who do know you. Weed out insults from things you can actually learn from.
And never forget there's always someone willing to listen to you and people that care about you. You can PM me any time, as I said before my life is really similar so hopefully I'd understand better.


I haven't attempted suicide yet but I'm most likely going to kill myself within the next couple of years. I have my own reasons of course, I may post about it some time.
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#8
one must always remember one important thing: whatever happens and how bad it is, you can fix everything, except death
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#9
(02-27-2018, 04:20 PM)Sa7ans Wrote:  Hey Friend,
Reading through this, a lot of it links to my life tbh.

1. Peoples opinions don't fucking matter they can fuck themselves, the only opinion that matters is yours and if people make opinions you don't like stand-up for yourself argue with them stand for who you are. YOU ARE YOU, tell people that and tell them to focus on their own lives.

2. Grades shouldn't matter too much, just put all your heart into studying what you need for you classes. The more work you put in the happier you will be when you get your grades back because you know that you worked for what you got and if people say shit about you grades just say "I tried my hardest and now I have something to show for it, all my hard work went into this and I'm proud so fuck off." Ask teachers for help with your work that's what they are there for, get the things you need to pass your exams and also ask you mum for help with your school work.

3. Bullying is a big thing it happens to the best of us, speak to your teachers about it and get help with stopping it. However most of the time people get bullied because they are different and there's nothing wrong with being different it makes you unique. Once those people grow up they will realise what cunts they have been to you and you will be looking down at them telling them how pathetic they are.

Honestly dude just try your hardest and you will get what you disserve. Also respect yourself more man it will help you to stand up to those cunts, speak to your mum ask for help and find a group of friends you could surround yourself in because they could really help you with studying. If you really consider killing yourself just know you are going to be upsetting many people including me now and there are a lot of people here that could care about you, ik that this is a online community but most of us have been through stuff like this before and we can help you.

Please take care of yourself. Heart

You deadass copied @STARTEXMISLEAD 's points.

And @STARTEXMISLEAD , thanks man. I just don't like the way my life is. Just wanted to say how I feel to people that really cant judge me for the way I act.
Reply
#10
(02-28-2018, 08:05 PM)McChicken Wrote:  
(02-27-2018, 04:20 PM)Sa7ans Wrote:  Hey Friend,
Reading through this, a lot of it links to my life tbh.

1. Peoples opinions don't fucking matter they can fuck themselves, the only opinion that matters is yours and if people make opinions you don't like stand-up for yourself argue with them stand for who you are. YOU ARE YOU, tell people that and tell them to focus on their own lives.

2. Grades shouldn't matter too much, just put all your heart into studying what you need for you classes. The more work you put in the happier you will be when you get your grades back because you know that you worked for what you got and if people say shit about you grades just say "I tried my hardest and now I have something to show for it, all my hard work went into this and I'm proud so fuck off." Ask teachers for help with your work that's what they are there for, get the things you need to pass your exams and also ask you mum for help with your school work.

3. Bullying is a big thing it happens to the best of us, speak to your teachers about it and get help with stopping it. However most of the time people get bullied because they are different and there's nothing wrong with being different it makes you unique. Once those people grow up they will realise what cunts they have been to you and you will be looking down at them telling them how pathetic they are.

Honestly dude just try your hardest and you will get what you disserve. Also respect yourself more man it will help you to stand up to those cunts, speak to your mum ask for help and find a group of friends you could surround yourself in because they could really help you with studying. If you really consider killing yourself just know you are going to be upsetting many people including me now and there are a lot of people here that could care about you, ik that this is a online community but most of us have been through stuff like this before and we can help you.

Please take care of yourself. Heart

You deadass copied @STARTEXMISLEAD 's points.

And @STARTEXMISLEAD , thanks man. I just don't like the way my life is. Just wanted to say how I feel to people that really cant judge me for the way I act.

I struggle with similar stuff and so does a good few people I know and look after just find someone to hug and cry with.
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#11
I struggle almost in similar way last time
Dont worry you will move on to next phase of life aand everything will be much better
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#12
Don't pay attention on this , try to ignore the bad moments in your life. Yep the bad memories are always surrounding ya but you have to open a new page of ur life
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